Starting over every day

okay so everytime i write an update i end up erasing it all because livejournal is gay...this will my last entry becuz no one reads this gay thing but then again i dont blame them...who has time to just sit and read about other ppls lives? and my feelings on the new lj called myspaces are just as lame.
-summer is cool, went to ozzfest, very disappointed with second stage shit because arch enemy didn't show, i dont like faggity hardcore, and jada pinket smith shouldn't be allowed to be on the line up....main stage however was amazing, i love iron maiden and ozzy, missed most of inflames and wasn't all that impressed with shadows fall...anywho, i'm going to see chimaira on the 16th should be pretty fun, planning to go see judas priest on sept. 24
-my summer vacation is going great. i work, i hangout with my friends and my boy, and i have been taking day trips to anywhere. went to state college one day to the hooka lounge , i sugest everyone to go its amazing...going to hershey park on tues....and i'm going to the renaissance fair on the 13-14 so i'm going to be busy
-okay i have thing else to say, if you are interested in whats going on in my life just im to ask me about it, i'd be glad to talk about my life
-end

Current Mood: calm

-friday i hosted a going away party for david ickes, it was alot of fun with alot of food

-after the party we went bowling (jeff, i am shamefaced that i didn't talk to you, but i know you are a rock star and i'm just a lowly jewish high school girl ...and you had a posse of ruffians with you, i was scared...next time i will know better)

-worked all day yesterday

-matt has been gone all weekend

-i hung out with devon and some of his friends, we listened to music and played ddr...good times

-i work today

-i am so happy its summer time and my friends are home from college, i love my summer routine which consists of hanging around the movie theater and eatn'park

-too many proms, 3 is too many

-sarah doyle is coming, words can't express the joy

-okay i'm done

Current Mood: calm

hating school, loving life
okay i'm updating for shits and giggles, i have no real reason to update but let me give you the update on life

-last week was community service week which was awesome cuz i had no school, it consisted of me just doing nothing, leaving for a couple of hours with jacky , karlee and ana coming back and doing bull shit work...it woudl have been more beneficial to the "community" if it was more organized...oh well i dont care

-this week is shitty cuz i'm back in school, it is absolutly horrible, schools almost done...thank god for that

-i had a softball tourney (yes i said it) on sat....it was cool just because we won it all and got trophies, yeah i owned

-i went and got coffee last night

-everything is grand

i have nothing else to say.

Current Mood: calm

.....woop
no i haven't gone completely insane, so stop asking....yeah i've been walking to school and home and to softball now, i've been trying to pinch every penny of gas money as possible because prices are insane right now...i can't tell you how many times ppl have to me i was gay, stupid, or awesome for walking haha i dont care, i'm going to continue to do it,and if you see me walking dont ask me for a ride because you are holding up traffic and i dont want one

working all fucking vacation long which freakin sucks....i have to shop for prom, and i have no fucking time to do it...

went to j-town to look at their mall, they had absolutly shit...j-town sucks the big titties, so i think its off to pittsburgh

schools almost done which for me is hard to believe, i seriously feel like we just started...this has been such a crazy year....and it'll be an amazing summer

done and done

Current Mood: SHUT THE FUCK UP

something new
i had a good talk wit jacky the other night

i dont have alot of time, the majority of my time is spent working, so i understand why i dont get invited to do things with my friends, i realize and accept that matt is pretty much my only friend that hangs out with me but if you had someone that had pretty much the same availability as you, wanted to hang out with you, was there all the time, and was someone great to be around with you'd hang out with them all the time too. so i am cool that i dont have alot of close friends, i feel like i've been distancing myself from alot of my closer friends, but i dont usual hang out with my closer friends or am included but thats cool i dont really care....i'm giving up alot of stuff, and trying some new things...i just think i'm maturing more finally, i just give up on high school social life, the ppl that i truly love and care about i will keep in contact with , but the people that i dont really talk to or hang out with i know we'll drift apart more, but its cool , it happens.
i want to hang out with different ppl more often, i want to hang around ppl that i say i will hang out with example, bob, i'd love to hang out with you in the near future, my friend devin, i want to play ddr with you, sven:we need to hang and play ddr with mandy...i need to make time for those that i haven't gotten to see, i need a change to better myself

i can't wait till this school year is done, its been fun, and easy but i'm just done

i haven't updated in a while, but same old, working alot, softball, no free time, doing nothing for school

i'm just happy for the good friends i have and my family isn't so bad

Current Mood: blank

deer make things 100 times funnier
okay bambie rocks , no not bambie the promiscuous hooker, but bambie the deer, yeah i can finally appreciate a deer running around.

nothing new...

-looking for a new job, won't be difficult and it'll be nice to get paid more than $5.15

-working a good bit

-softball starts, practice every single day, it'll be busy end of the year

-i hate school especially don imler

-snow day, its nice to have the day off it just sucks that i'm snowed in

i'm really bored, and just sitting here, so i'm done

Current Mood: bored

so today is the day after v-day, well everyone hates this holiday unless you have someone to spend it with....i personally think its an okay holiday, its sweet i suppose, i guess i dont really care...but i worked yesterday anyways so it was a romantic v-day

alls i have been doing lately is working, been working alot and work alot on the upcoming vacation....school of course, which each day i attend gets less and less meaningful and has no purpose...tomorrow morning everyone is going out to breakfast, i dont know what i'm doing, sleep? breakfast? school? the morning is my oyster

last sat. i cooked for matt as an early v-day thing, cooked him stir fry and health dessert, then we went to his house and ate chocolate cover strawberries which was kickin'

yeah things are cool, my friends are cool, music is cool

end

Current Mood: david bowie and queen

whistle the river dance
nothing much has been going on...

sat. me morgan and emma took out erin w. for her b-day ...we made a day of it, buying shitty gifts and taking her to hooters where they made her dance which embarassed her making my day complete

today i just hung around, my parents had some jew friends over for brunch, and then i went out with matty to eatn'park , after eatn'park jacky called and me and matt went to hang out with them for a while, basically just went to the old canal inn where we got some food, and then i took matt to work...all n' all a pretty nice day

i'm looking for a new job too, carmike is becoming too much like a real job that we actually have to work, and i can't do that, espeically being paid at minimum..so either waitressing or mariot is where i'm planning on going now the step of actually getting applications is next

i have nothing really to say, i dont know why i even bother to update...okay

Current Mood: calm

should dogs be sent to jail?
WAS going to be going down to north carolina on thursday but plans have changed and now my older brother is allowed to come home!.....i hate how the military is sometimes , they change plans so rapidly we can't even keep up....first adam wasn't allowed to come home, then he was, then he wasn't and now he is....they pushed back the date when he was supposed to be sent over to iraq which is good they just aren't organized....but i guess thats the military for you

so i will be home all weekend unless plans change again.

went out tonight with matt to eatn'park for some quality time.

schools same old, boring and pointless.

theres alot of good concerts coming up, just sucks that i can't go to them because of distance

i'm tired, good night.

Current Mood: calm

if you married a mermaid where would you live, land or sea?
i'm updating because i'm sick and miserable...i'd do anything to feel better...i am just going to continue taking lots of nitequill, and sleeping.

me, ana, and vegan found a superb tea place called tea merchant 101, it was delightful....we are now going to go there every wed. after school as a tradition....finally some awesome tea and a tea ball!

went to bed last night at 8 oclock, yes i know early, but i was awoken many times by the fact i couldn't breath and was in too much pain

on thurs. i'm leaving for north carolina to visit my brother before he leaves for iraq....not that i dont want to go, i just can't take saying goodbye to him one more time, i've had to do it too many times, and i dont like traveling in the car for long periods of time but it'll be nice to see him

called off work for the past 2 days because of this sickness....thank god i would have really died if i went into work

got some homework done, pretty bored, hoping to be better by tomorrow altho looks unlikely

later

Current Mood: sick

keep yourself alive
haven't updated in a while...my dinner party a few weeks ago was awesome, i CAN NOT wait till our next one, mexican themed of course

umm my friend jenn came down from pittsburgh, shes one of those ppl that you have to learn how to deal with them and i regret bringing her to karlee's house because it was rude of me to have her over because i didn't realize how loud and boistrous jenn can be unless you know how to deal with it...i'm sorry guys, next time i'll bring just me.

but me and jenn went thrift shopping at the flea market which was fun, got some records and just awesome stuff for cheap.

jenn left sat., i went out with matty later on that day to eatn'park as usual to make our rounds with our favorite waitresses and hostess's.....we go there so often that they dont ask us where we want to sit nor do they take our orders they just know which is pretty cool...saw bob there too which was awesome its always nice to see a face you don't often get to see

been drinking alot of tea lately, it really does relax you and just every tea gives off such a wide variety of aromas and tastes that it never gets old theres just so much out there to try...matt gave me some russia spice tea today it was so good...i need a tea ball tho

me and matt went to target today to get melissa a wedding gift...despite our lack of direction following we found what we were looking for so thats one less thing to worry about

i hate the weather, i was hoping for not much snow this winter and i thought we'd make it with little to no snow at all! but alas, it snowed alot today

i work tomorrow and have some homework to do, school can suck it and so can my grades

hate mother nature
saw closer tonight....good movie, very fucked up, but pretty good none the less

was going to go to eatn'park with matty after but it was sleeting and i couldn't so now i hate winter and weather

tomorrow night mys peeps is comming over for some good ol' fashion hoopla....it'll be a fun time...some healthy cooking and ddr always means fun

work tomorrow afternoon....running tomorrow morning....sleepy

Current Mood: loved

no more
okay todays lesson learned is.... MY PARENTS ARE CUNTS (sorry bob i know you hate that word) no but really they suck and make my life hell sometimes

1. they hate that i go out all the time
REASON I GO OUT IT IS TO GET AWAY FROM THEM...they expect me to stay home during my vacation when i want to be with friends and matt and work
2. They yelled at me for hanging out with mat
"you are getting too serious we didn't like it with willis and we dont like it now" okay, i'm not melissa, i'm not getting married anytime soon so shut your fucking mouths
3. they wouldn't allow me to go to karlees house
"you work in the morning and you get grouchy" umm i'm pissy because you make me pissy by badgering me constanty and never leaving me alone, i miss my friends so stick it
4. they say i dont spend enough time with the family
I DONT SPEND TIME WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU ANNOY ME TO HELL AND BACK and by spending time you mean parents watch tv and kids in the basement doing nothing
5. adams home and you need to spend time with him
i do, i work alot, and when i get free time i am either with matt or adam or both or with lots of ppl adam included....hes out just as much as i am or has friends in, deal with the fact that adam has a life too

i just wish they'd understand, i guess because i dont talk to them they dont know me very well but i dont care they live with such old views, times have changed...i still have good morals and a good head on my shoulds not to do anything too stupid, so i wish they'd lay off...they say its a sign of immaturity that i spend most of my time with matt, ....its not immature if you have immature notions about what our relationship is...i am not making any plans to marry the kid, whatever happens happens, deal with it one day at a time.

okay enough bitching...

went to the carmike xmas party tonight, it was lame this year, i guess i'm just getting sick of it now, sick of some of the people...its time for me to move on from that job

working is what i do, i want to see my friends, jacky and vegan n' everyone ...we need to have a party cuz we do

went out with morgan the other night, always a good time, gossiped, drank coffe, the whole shibang

went shopping with melissa the other day for brides maid dresses.....well we found them, good price , good color.

i'm tired now..bye

Current Mood: annoyed

i want to ride my bike
well as usual xmas was a boring day but this year i was at carmike from 11:15 till 11:15pm and then i stayed and watched the darkness at midnight...

xmas at carmike was okay i guess, i hate the assholes that come in on xmas no offense to the dozens of my friends that i saw there including my older brother...i just hate being busy and we were selling out on most of our shows...ppl just get bored on xmas, and think "where can we go cuz nothing is open, not sheetz not denny's HOW ABOUT THE MOVIES!" yeah i say just stay home and enjoy a day off with your families

right now i love life, until i go back to school realizing i have done NO homework and have to go back to midterms yuck....besides working i've been with matt as usual, eatn'park, the regular routine

i have yet to start mr imlers shitty porfolio, i dont know what to do, i can't draw, i dont like old people, and i dont like fondling cats anus's (i'm sure lance got 100% on that assignment), so that leaves most of the points out for me ... i'm not even close to finishing east of eden looks like sparknotes once again...dont plan on starting my math packet...hating school, but loving vacation

adams home for a while and its great to have him back for the short time he'll be here for until he goes back down to NC and then over to iraq.....it just hasn't set in yet that he'l be gone for a seriously long time in less than week

new years even hummm....i dont work, but i dont really have anything planned i probebly will hang with matt, but i'm not sure...hopefully if i'm not with matt, i'll find something to do, i hate doing nothing on new years eve

well i'm going to rock out to sabbath and read, out

Current Mood: happy

smack the bitch face up
so much fun on wed. night.....jacky, karlee, ana, eric, ian, katie(i still am not sure if i know her name)and i went over to karlees house, even tho her dad scared me it was a really fun night

when i got there karlee has no idea what was going on , i gave her a gift and she didn't really respond cuz she was dead, and jacky liked her gift so mission accomplished ...now if i could only find jacky to get the rest of my gift for matt that'd be great...anywho....went to karlees had a really fun time, saw eric dance, heard ian play, it was quite an experience i must tell you. i was just jamming out to everything going on, karlee made me laugh along with everything else, eric was halarious just all in all a pleasant evening

thursday, i worked, then i went over to lindsey's house and ate xmas cookies and talked to josh, and hung out with girty and dan and james and lindseys siblings...i must say that her siblings are halarious, well at least van was, but it was fun getting to hang out with everyone.

came home and got a call from dana, and she came and got me to go to eat n' park, but not before i got like a 10min nap seeing as how i was running on like 4 hours sleep....after eat n' park, we came home and hung out with my brother who is home for a while!

merry xmas to those who celebrate ...to those jews that read this, (which is myself) hanukkah is better

Current Mood: happy

well, the holiday season brings pain, ha.....i have no more money, i have most of my gifts gotten, and the theater is busy during the holidays which i dont like

but tonight i'm going to party with muy ladies, it'll be some fun times as long as jacky doesn't try to have sex with me again...or maybe that makes it more fun? ehh GIGGLES, the only problem is i have to work tomorrow, from 11:15-8....looks like coffee will be my substance of choice tomorrow

i've been hanging with matt as usual, eatn'park as usual, skipping school as usual....tomorrow is my gift exchange party with dirty girty n' the gang....and that should be also a hoppin' good fun time if bryan doesn't try to give me a mushroom tattoo

carmike gift exchange was supposed to be tonight but the party was changed till next week, god only knows why.

i love queen.

been talking to bob alot lately thats always fun, hes such a crazy homosexual....those silly fags!!!! much love bobert

can't wait till the school year is over

Current Mood: calm

i love my brother
i just got back from saying my goodbye to adam...it just sucks for adam...he was ready to go back to school, he didnt get to finish hanukkah with us (and he wasn't here for hanukkah at all last year), he didn't get to see his high school friends get back from college on christmas break (which was the highlight of his time being home)...

its not fair for him, hes had to endure so much shit from my parents and the military just to get where he is today and now hes being shipped over....i'm just so sick of seeing him leave

i've had such a great time with him for what little time we did have...i can sit here and blame everyone, the government, the military, and even adam....but theres nothing i can do

sure i dont agree with the war, but i can't stop it....i can just voice my oppinion about it...at first i didn't care all that much about the war because it wasn't directly affecting me, but now it has, and now i dont want anything more but for it to stop.

the military are a bunch of liars, and i will always stick by that, they promised my brother free school 1. its not free 2. he won't even ssee school for another 2 years at the least .... so many benefits of the military were promised but i haven't seen one yet except for adam's change in attitude....he loves the military which i'm happy that hes finally found something that can make him happy but i hate the fact that hes leaving us for a year n' half

its been so hard watching all of my family cry, and all of adam's friends cry....carmike have been insensative bastards through it this all....so i say fuck them family come first before any dead end minimum wage job

i love jacky, thank you

now that hes gone all we can do is hope and pray he'll be safe, and support the troops

Current Mood: melancholy

as many of you know my older brother is leaving for iraq tomorrow....its been such an emotional time for my family and all of adams friends...i want to thank the friends that have been there for me through it all...i'm just going to post the letter i wrote to him to say goodbye

Adam,
Bravery like yours is what makes this country so great. You leaving with confidence gives me the strength needed to handle your goodbye. I just want you to know how proud I am of you and you should be proud of all your accomplishments. You have gone through so many obstacles to get where you are today. Your personality is what makes you such an amazing person. You can always make me laugh even when I’m acting like a bitch. Even when I’m “not in the mood” you never give up on trying to see me smile. You have such a unique talent of making everyone around you happy. We have developed into such good friends over the years and I hate seeing one of my best friends leave. Like Jen said the other night, you have affected the lives of everyone you meet. Your goofiness makes everyone laugh and your loving personality makes everyone feel comfortable around you. There is nothing you can’t do. I wish we would have had longer time with one another but I know duty calls. You definatly make this family more interesting. I admire everything you are doing for your country and your family. Things just won’t be the same without you. Just know that I will miss you so much. I wish you the best of luck and hope you stay safe. Love you with all my heart!
Love,
Annie

god bless the troops....good luck

Current Mood: sad

dazed and confused
welp everything is just peachy keen and dandy...

besides the fact i haven't had like ANY sleep lately everything is cool

yesterday i got accepted to penn state AND FUCK YOU ALL THAT THINK PENN STATE ISNT A GOOD SCHOOL THAT JUST SHOWS HOW TRUELY IGNORANT AND FUCKING PATHETIC YOU REALLY ARE....taking summer courses so now this presents a problem with my planned beach trip cuz i found out my summer course dates....now i dont know whether to do summer courses, or go in the fall and go on my beach trip ...hard decision cuz i've been planning on these summer courses now for a while DAMN

yeah so now i can just do nothing for the rest of the year, i already told ms. dodson that i am sleeping for the rest of the year and she claims i will be missing out on a real education, and i told her she was wrong

i have been having such an attitude with the teachers lately, probebly cuz i've decided i wont be taking their uneducated shit anymore.....teachers are all dumb (or at least the ones at the high school are)

as usual i hate mr. imler cuz i can't stay awake in his boring ass pointless class, his course is truely pointless and i dont think there is a bit of relevance to it.

wrote a shitty paper for mrs. gunsallus, i love her, but this paper was a bitch and mine was a piece of shit cuz i procrastinated

been at eatn'park alot lately, but thats nothing new

working alot, went to sakura last night with some old skool carmikers

parents got me a lap top for hanukkah/college...which is sweet cuz they bought it on black friday and got a hell of a deal (they would have never gotten me that lap top if it weren't for black friday)

nothing exciting, done

Current Mood: pleased

i love looking at my past entries on livejournal....i love memories, remembering good and bad times that i've had...and sometimes memories are all you have left

i'm scared, i'm scared for the future..yeah i've been wanting this day to come forever, the day i graduate, the magical day all opportunities come, the day independence is more than just going out on a friday night by yourself....but its not going to be as easy as high school, college is different, it actually counts for something...Reminiscing with foot of ten people about elementry school is crazy, we remeber so much, it sounds cliche, but jr. high and elementry really do feel like yesterday.

but now "yesterday" is gone and i have to start all over again, new friends, new work ethics, just new environment...but i look at it as a chance to start new, the things about myself that i didn't like during high school will be left at high school. i dont look at it as loosing my friends because by all means i'll try to keep in contact with the people i like the most, but i look at it as we've had great times during high school and i won't forget what you've ment to me...that goes to all of my friends

things change, feelings change, people grow, am i scared for all the new changes? yes...but its obviously apart of life

i live life very lightly...i try not to worry too much, i live each day and deal with each problem and situation one at a time, there has been alot of things in my life that have changed, alot of things in my friends lives that have change...and its such a reality awakening for me to see life changes going on right infront of me

i can only hope and wish that i grow into what wish to be someday..."things do not change;we change"-Henry David Thoreau

endd

Current Mood: accomplished

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